`- / Another sleepless night as i gaze at my ceiling dreaming about you .

` Hey people ,
` i actually wonder if anyone actually reads my blog or just my tags .
` anyways ,
` i was actually wanting to post about Positive stuff ,
` those to help people but suddenly ,
` im feeling really down .
` i didn't expect today would be another sleepless night as i lay down thinking of you .

` Past 2 days , if i remembered ,
` my BABY didnt sms me goodnight ,
` couldnt hear his voice .
` Than i don't know why but ,
` i would lay down and wait .
` Try entertaining myself and getting my mind back to reality .

` Sadly , my mind cant get you out my thoughts .
` your glued there , for some reason .
` Than today ,
` i thought i'd be sleeping soundly after you saying ` iLoveYou ` .
` Sadly , i said some words ,
` and i got you in a bad mood , as always .
` than it finally came to me .

` Earlier today i cried so much ,
` Hid em' from you .
` But than couldn't take the pain .
` and cried .
` There was a voice in my head ,
` Saying ` Baby i cant go anywhere w/o you ` and ` Baby dont ever Leave me ` .
` Those words were stuck there , on replay .
` Than a hug and a kiss cured it all .

` Everything was okay again .
` But thanks to me stupid selfish-ness ,
` i made you lose your mood , all thanks to me .
` Come to think of it .
` i wish i wasn't born .

` See how many people would be better off never meeting me .
` My baby won't have to suffer .
` My mother didn't have to cry and spend money on me .
` My brother can use the Television .
` My Dad wont have to accuse me for taking his stuff .

` i kept wondering ,
` was my birth a Accidentally ?
` I Have something worth living for ,
` Thats for my baby .

` I'm sorry i hurt you .
` I just wanted you to pei me in Audi .
` i just wanted to be with you .
` See-ing everyone being Lovely-Dovey ..
` maybe my heart was feeling a little empty .

` i couldnt explain but i somehow made you feel that i was blaming you .
` you always said sorry but at the end , i was sorry cause you ignored me .
` Learning the hard way for too long ,
` i can't take it .
` Going through the Hard part for so long ,
` Experiencing pain created , my wrong doings .
` its killing me .
` i Cant take learning the hard way much longer .

` i Need someone to hold me and say ` everything is okay . `
` The Hard way is driving me crazy .
` im going insane .
` i might just jump down the building now .
` but i cant bear to lose my baby .
` Now , foolish me ,
` tear-ing up .

` i deserve pain .
` i deserve hate .
` i deserve scars .
` i deserve unhappiness .
` i deserve everything that hurts .
` But i dont deserve a loving guy like you .

` I can never seem to clean my mistake ; never cheering you up after my wrong doings .
` im feeling useless .
` i know you don't deserve this .

` God ,
` Why can't i be perfect ..
` Not everything Perfect but ..
` Why can't i be perfect for him ..

` I wanna be the one who make him smile the biggest smiles .
` I wanna be the one who makes him laugh till he cries of joy .
` I wanna be the one who can take away his pain .
` I wanna be the one who can bring him happiness .
` I wanna be the one who he calls , ` Perfection ` .

` as i look at myself in the mirror ,
` i say ,
` ' Look at my eyes , their too small ' .
` ' Look at my scar , it'll be a ugly mark there '
` ' Look at my pimples , they wont stop growing '
` ' Look at my face , its so small and ugly . '
` ' Look at my body , is there something wrong with me '
` ' Look at my heart , is this the heart that had always hurt-ed you '

` Than i think of you .
` ' Look at your eyes , they shine so bright '
` ' Look at your scar , It doesnt seem to bother your looks '
` ' Look at your pimples , their getting better by the day '
` ' Look at your face , its so chubby and cute '
` ' Look at your body , its so special and nice '
` ' Look at your heart , its full of kindness and love , and it trapped me in there '

`- i wish i was perfect for you ..


`- Baby says i shouldnt go chalet if i continue being like this ,
` i already told my Mother about me going so ,
` i'm going to find some shelter and food to last me a whole night .
` as long as my baby is happy ..
` i don't mind suffering .

` Staring blankly at the sky ,
` Looks like the Moon is lonely .
` Bright , cold silver moon .
` Wishing you were lying down by my side .

` your just too perfect -//*